14 Weeks

2012-02-14T12:28:00.000-08:00

This past week was not the best. Hubby was sick which is not a big deal, however, he was also very angry at me because I have chosen to do this competition. We barely spoke all week, partly because he did need to rest, but also because we chose not to talk and that made it very uncomfortable in our house. This in turn made me feel guilty about going to the gym so I only went twice and then felt guilty about that. It was a guilty week :(

Everything finally came to a head this weekend and I found out that Jeff has a MAJOR issue with my choice to do this competition. He doesn't understand why I want to do it, he doesn't want my body to change and he felt like I was leaving him behind because I want to make this drastic change.

Well, I have tried to explain to him why I want to do this: I have always hated my body. I was the skinny, freckled red-head with asthma my entire life and believe me, I got made fun of. This is a chance for me to look AMAZING, be healthy, meet new people and yes, I will get judged on my looks, so what!? No matter the outcome, I will know stepping on that stage that I did everything in my power to look and feel the best I could. This is a sport I can do and excel at, so i want to do it.

I do want my body to change. I want to have muscles and slim legs and just be fit. This I do not know how to explain or know why there is such an issue. I am hoping he will understand eventually that this is not a bad thing that I am doing.

Something that I do regret is that he feels like I am leaving him behind because I chose to do this and he feels like he has no say in the matter. There will be sacrifices on his part, so I do not want him to resent me, I truly hope he will join me and become my biggest supporter and fan.

We did leave it that he does not understand it, agree with it or like it, but he will not stand in my way.........Let's see where we end up :)

15 Weeks

2012-02-07T14:52:00.000-08:00

So here it is, the "journal" of my journey to my first fitness competition. This will be random thoughts and feelings so that I can track my progress. (I am sure it will be quite entertaining to read by the end) This journey is 16 weeks and the plan is to update at least once a week.

I have tried to do this twice before and have not been able to make it past the first month. Some because of circumstance and some, I think, was just my own lack of faith in myself. This time, I REALLY want it and of course I have an amazing Coach in Lisa Dardis. http://schirokhardbodies.com/. I have some major doubts that I will be able to stick to it, but i am going to the very best I can. I am really nervous but am not sure if it is the thought of stepping on that stage or the thought of failing and not stepping on that stage........

I am in week #2 of preparing for the competition and I feel I did just okay the first week. I got 3 good work-outs in and did alright with eating. I did not keep my eating schedule for Super Bowl Sunday and felt really guilty so I pushed even harder in my Monday work-out. I do not have a lot of time to waste getting my head into the game so I need to figure out a schedule to get the 5-6 workouts a week I need. However, in the last week I have scheduled my photo shoot, hair/make-up and tanning as well as ordered my competition shoes and I have my first suit fitting next week. The last major thing I need to do is actually register for the competition. :)

I think my biggest obstacle is managing time with my little one, Iara and hubby, Jeff. Iara loves going to the gym but it is just not possible to take her every night. I think I just need to suck it up and get up at 4:30am to hit the gym before Jeff leaves for work.........

I think that is all for now, C U SOON!!

Commitment to Self

14 Weeks

15 Weeks